This week’s running – 7th to 13th of December 2015


So, just how long would you have to run to burn one of these off?

This week was about preparations for the Sneyd Christmas Pudding Run.

5k from work

I was hungry and tired leaving the office, so an 11mph headwind was most unwelcome. Even with my headtorch, I almost ran straight into a dog walker that was dressed entirely in black; it was only because the dog’s eyes reflected some light back at me that I realised there was somebody on the path at all.

Here’s the Garmin data for this run.

8 canal miles with 2x miles at half marathon pace

I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to cover on my Tuesday run. With the Sneyd Christmas Pudding Run on the horizon only several days later, I was very conscious of the fact that I hadn’t even remotely touched half marathon pace since crossing the finish line of the Cardiff Half Marathon in October. That was enough to convince me to slot in 2 or 3 miles at 6:30 pace to try and gain some familiarity.

The out leg featured one mile at 6:28 pace into a headwind to leave me feeling out of sorts. When it came to the return leg, I opted for another single mile at the same pace in an attempt to balance sharpening up without overdoing it ahead of Sunday’s race.

Here’s the Garmin data for this run.

5k from work

The 2 miles at half marathon pace from the night before had some effect here, and after an entire day’s worth of meetings sat down, my legs were ready to stretch out.

Here’s the Garmin data for this run.

A day of rest

Another day of meetings and a late finish at work meant I really wasn’t game for a 10 mile run, even at an easy pace, so I swapped Thursday and Friday around for an evening of recovery instead.

10 miles with 2x miles at marathon pace

Not a great run, truth be told. I was tired from the last couple of days at work along with less sleep than I’d have liked. The first 3 miles were also marred by an incredibly painful stitch that ran from the bottom of my sternum through to the right-hand side of my guts. Thankfully, it cleared before I reached halfway because I knew I definitely wanted to get 2 miles in at marathon pace to stop my legs from reverting to a plod-like pace.

In hindsight, I probably flew too close to the sun with this run where it was a touch too long (8 would have been ideal) when coupled with the 2 faster miles. I did feel slightly run down afterwards and spent the rest of the evening alone and feeling slightly sorry for myself.

Here’s the Garmin data for this run.

Cannon Hill Parkrun

Having moved my schedule around, there was no chance that I was going to run at Cannon Hill Parkrun and still be fresh for Sunday’s race, so I opted to volunteer as a marshal instead. Armed with a water-proof coat and an umbrella, I was ready for one of the wettest Parkruns I’ve ever seen.

Of note were some incredibly fast women in attendance that morning, most likely visiting whilst in town for the next day’s Telford 10k. Looking at the results, most of them seemed to take up the vacant unknown runner slots where I guess they didn’t want to be formally recorded.

I happened to catch a few people off-guard who totally weren’t expecting to see me on the penultimate corner of the route. Very kindly, Steve Dunsby, Nigel Beecroft and Dave Burton came to stand with me after they’d all finished, cheering on the remaining runners out on the course.

Just as Dunsby and I were finishing up and heading off, one chap came over and asked if I was the “Yellow Runner” (I’m no longer sure if I’m being ironic anymore…) Confirming my identity, I was pleased to hear he’d discovered Cannon Hill Parkrun from reading my ramblings. Dunsby found it all quite hilarious and surreal, before telling him of other similar occasions from the past. Don’t be shy and come on over if you see me!

Sneyd Christmas Pudding Run

For the full race report, please click here.

It’s with sadness that we’re now formally at the end of Mark Remy’s The Runner’s Rule Book with only a few odds and sods left in the appendix, which may just about see us into the New Year.

It was over two years ago that I started including them at the end of each week’s write-up! I’m not looking to replace the rules with anything unless somebody has a suggestion?

Anywho, here’s this week’s entry:

Snappy retorts to 5 common heckles

Heckle: “Run, Forrest, run!”

Response: Approach hecklers. In deadpan delivery, recite another Forrest Gump line, such as “I’m not a smart man. But I know what love is.”[Important: Do not blink.] Repeat as needed until hecklers become uncomfortable and walk away. If time allows, follow them and repeat lines from other Tom Hanks films.

Heckle: “Woo woo! Nice legs!”

Response: “At least I have legs.” [Note: This response works only when dealing when dealing with a legless heckler.]

Heckle: “Nice shorts!”

Response: Assume that this is a sincere compliment, and say something kind in return. For instance, “Woo woo! Nice legs!”

Heckle: “Faster! Faster!”

Response: Pause to explain to the hecklers that you would run faster, except that you have a 6 mile tempo run on tap for Thursday, at 10k pace, and Wednesday is a cross-training day, so today you’re just logging an easy 4 or so, and besides, you’re still kinda recovering from your long run on Sunday, which was supposed to be 12 miles but you ran 14 to help make up for the fact that you missed the previous Sunday’s long run altogether and you were feeling guilty. If hecklers are still around at that point, try explaining what fartlek is.

Heckle: “Get off the road!”

Response: Confound the heckler by replying in French – e.g., “Je ne parle pas Anglais.” If the heckler retorts in French himself, you have met you match. Best get off the road.

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